Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
