I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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