I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
