im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
