You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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