My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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