Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
