your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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