They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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