Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
