I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If I die, sorry about rent.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
