mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My balls are so social today.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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