Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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