Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I am morally bankrupt
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm getting married
To pizza
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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