i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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