i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
