he shaved USA in his pubs
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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