Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
