So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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