So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
