so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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