I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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