Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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