Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
