when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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