I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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