My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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