You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
