Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
