Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
