I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
