halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
