The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize