It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
