Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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