1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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