One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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