i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
