how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
