i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
