he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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