I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
