absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
