Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
PANTIES FOUND
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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