I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
