i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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