Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
