that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
