I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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