So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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