He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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