matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
love makes seman taste better
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Green mimosas i think yes
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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