the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
