i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
