I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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