this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
