But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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