and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
