whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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