Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
