Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
