Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
