They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
